Tired of Waiting

I am not posting my weight this week simply because I don’t want to, I know I am up yet again and I am feeling tired and frustrated with myself.

I can not pretend that I did everything I was supposed to and don’t know why I gained yet again, I didn’t do ANYTHING right this last week. If I know what I did was not what I should be doing then why did I do it? Oh how I wish I knew the answer to that question but I don’t know why. I simply can not stop eating the wrong things lately.

I met with my dietitian last Friday and that did not help me get back on track, she gave me some great ideas but now I need to take the ideas and do something with them. Next Friday I have my first surgery consult and I can’t wait to meet the surgeon and see if he can give me some kind of insight as to when a surgery date may be.

I really need this surgery to help me in getting this weight off, I am so tired of fighting with myself and this weight. I have said before that surgery is just a tool, it is not going to magically make the weight fall off and it is going to take a lot of work but right now I feel like without the extra help of surgery I am doomed to stay at my current weight and that is a very depressing thought.

For those of you reading this and still thinking surgery will be easy I will post a link below on why surgery is “not the easy way out,” this was posted on one of my support groups and I found it interesting so here you go.  http://www.obesityhelp.com/articles/surgery-is-not-the-easy-way-out-a-bariatric-surgeons-perspective

For the remainder of the week I am going to try to focus on getting back in control of my eating and start getting into a regular exercise routine, I set up my diva den work out space so I really should get to using it.

Hoping I can do better this coming week 🙂

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Vacation Brain!

Last Thursday I didn’t weigh in since I was on vacation, today I weighed myself and was surprised to see I only gained 1.4 lbs. I am not disappointed with that weight because once again I failed to follow the plan I laid out in my last blog.

I am going to chalk it up to vacation brain, you may think I am just making up excuses but this is an actual problem for some of us overweight people.

At my maintaining change class last month we talked about how hard summer can be for some people to lose weight because their brain goes into vacation mode. The kids are on summer holidays, our schedules change, the weather is nice and we want to have a BBQ and a few drinks with friends. For me I definitely find the summer challenging even when I am not on an actual vacation for all the above reasons I mentioned, this is something I need to work on. vacay brain

I know that even with whatever bariatric surgery I end up having that it is not magic, it is a tool to help with weight loss and I will still be able to gain the weight back and that is assuming I am even able to lose all of the weight I want to. For this reason I need to really figure out how to get through the summer without throwing away my meal & activity plans.

I would like to add that I have made some progress because I didn’t gain 5-10 lbs on vacation, I have gained a total of 1.8 lbs over the whole summer. Yup I call that progress!

Now I just have to find a way to get back on track because I have been home for almost a week and although I did go to my regular yoga class last night I have not been following my normal eating plan and I have lost the motivation to get back on track.

no motivation

I have an appointment with my dietitian tomorrow afternoon so hopefully she will help me to find my motivation again.

Would You Like Some Food With Your Alcohol?

So I have gained 0.4 lbs this week, I thought it was going to be way worse so whatever!

A quick run down of the previous week, I was doing pretty good until we left for the family reunion Friday and then all hell broke loose. Despite having good intentions and having lots of good healthy food stocked in the trailer I totally bombed. So why did I blow all my good intentions??? One word ALCOHOL!

I stepped out of the car and into a can of beer which led to another beer and a hamburger and later some more beer and a hot dog. I did really well all day so the extra calories from the hamburger, hot dog and beer might not have been so bad if I could have just stuck to my plan for Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Saturday started off pretty good I tried to limit what I ate for breakfast since it was higher calorie food than I usually eat at breakfast, I went for a long walk and then the alcohol started again. I don’t even know what I ate or didn’t eat after breakfast and before supper but I know there was a lot of alcohol and Sunday was only slightly better.

There is something about having a few drinks that gives you a carefree attitude and all good diet intentions go out the window. I am going to have to really be better at watching the alcohol intake so that I am better able to control the eating that comes along with it.

So much for last weeks plan 😦

This coming week I am going camping for a week so we will see if I can stay in control a little better this time. Since I will be gone for a week there wont be a post next Thursday and I will not be weighing in next Thursday either.

My only goals will be to try to take a long walk everyday or go for a bike ride and to stick as close as possible to plan while allowing myself some freedom since I am on vacation.