Mixed Emotions

Over the last two weeks I have had some mixed emotions, this journey is hard!

First my weight loss, this morning my scale showed a 1.6 lb weight loss for the week. Really??? 1.6 lbs that’s it I only eat 700 – 850 calories a day and I only lose 1.6 lbs!!! Although I was frustrated with the weekly weight loss I am happy with my overall progress, my weight is 219.5 lbs which means I get to say goodbye to the 220’s FOREVER!

I have also been a little frustrated with where I am losing the weight. I know that I always lose weight from my chest up first and from my stomach, hips & ass last but that doesn’t stop me from being irritated every time I put on my jeans and they don’t fall off. I have noticed my jeans are getting just a tiny bit looser in the legs but seriously the places I want to lose it the most just don’t seem to get any smaller.

Lastly food make me feel a little sad sometimes, strange especially when it almost always had the opposite effect. When put my meal on my plate (small salad plate) I often feel like it’s not enough food to fill me up but when I finish eating I almost always have to throw a bite or 2 of food away. It is hard to have to either share everything with someone or throw half of something away because you simply can’t eat it. Sometimes when I am throwing away those last few bites I couldn’t eat I feel a little sad and I have no good explanation, this is the purpose of the surgery after all.

Sometimes I just don’t feel like myself and I can’t always figure out why. Maybe it’s because someday’s food just doesn’t feel good in my new tummy, maybe it’s because sometimes nothing tastes very good or maybe it’s just a hormonal change.

Even with all of the ups and downs of this journey I have no regrets and most days I feel great and I can not wait to see where my weight ends up each and every week.

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