Last Sunday I did something I never thought I would physically be able to do, I completed a 5K Inflatable Obstacle course.
Although I didn’t actually run the course my friend and I kept a fast steady walking pace and finished the race in exactly 1 hour. I was incredibly nervous before we started, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to finish the race or if I would be able to get through all of the obstacles. It turns out my worries were for nothing, not only did we finish but we even passed a few people on the course.
My husband and youngest son came to watch and take some pictures and I was very grateful to have the experience documented, however when we were done and I viewed the pictures I couldn’t help but see a fat girl.
I realize that having lost 90 lbs at this point and only having 17 lbs to my goal weight that it is crazy to see a picture of myself and still see only a slightly smaller person than I was 8 months ago but the fact is that is exactly what I saw in the pictures.
I almost did’t post any of the pictures on Facebook because I was horrified by the way I looked. When I left the house that morning I thought I was looking pretty good but the pictures made me feel awful.
I realize now more than ever that this is a real issue with me and something I really need to work on so as a a start I posted most of the pics from the race and tried to tell myself there is nothing wrong with the way I look. The comments on that facebook post were all very supportive and positive, lots of congratulations, you look great and way to go.
Perhaps the second step to changing my perception of myself is to start really listening to compliments I receive. I usually say thank you and quickly dismiss it but going forward I am going to really try to take the compliment in and try to realize that people wouldn’t say it if they didn’t mean it.
To end the post for today I am going to share just one of my race day “fat” pictures. This particular photo is from after the completion of the race.