The last few weeks have been very stressful and I hate to admit that I missed one of my home training sessions and my food choices have not been great.

It is hard to know that I can easily eat too many calories in a day and it is a slippery slope to weight gain. Sometimes I wish I was one the people who couldn’t eat things like chocolate because it made me sick but sadly I can eat whatever I want.

So we had a family problem that turned into 3 days of tears and 2 weeks of stress and maybe even a slight bit of depression. Day 1 I had a session booked with my personal trainer so even though my first thought was to hit a McDonald’s and drown myself in something fattening and greasy I didn’t, I went to my session and had something reasonable to eat at home after. The rest of the first week was actually not to bad, I wasn’t making great choices but I wasn’t really making terrible choices either.

Week 2 was awful and Halloween didn’t help the situation. I was eating everything I could get my hands on without tracking calories until the end of the day at which time as I logged all of my bad choices I would realize that I had eaten more than 1200 calories. I have eaten tons of chocolate, chips, eaten out and drank alcohol more than I have since my surgery in February.

Today when I stepped on the scale I was up, only 0.4 lbs but still I was up and it made me really realize how much I had been sabotaging myself. Today I have hidden the Halloween candy away in a cupboard so that it’s not staring at me every time I enter the kitchen and I have packed a healthy lunch and snacks for work. Today I WILL stop self sabotaging!!! Today I get back to following my plan and eating the foods that I know are good for me.

I am so close to goal and I am hoping to reach that goal by Christmas, I seem to always have a “Christmas Goal” but this year I could actually reach it. For the first time in 2 weeks I am feeling hopeful again.